


Fears of loss

by Persephonexoxo



Category: Unter Uns
Genre: Accidents, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Drama, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fear of loss, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Panic Attacks, ringsy - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-25
Updated: 2018-06-28
Packaged: 2019-05-28 09:14:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,691
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15045755
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Persephonexoxo/pseuds/Persephonexoxo
Summary: English Version of "Verlustängste"Easy has an accident and Ringo is confronted with the fear of losing him





	1. Shock

"Ringo! Ringo! You have to get out of here." Ringo only heard all the voices somewhere in the back of his mind. He felt an arm pulling him away from the happening. He tried to fight it, but he didn't have any energy left. "No... I need to stay with him... I can't loose him too." , he stuttered completely under shock. Tears started to stream down his face and eventually he broke down sobbing in Tobias arms.

*Flashback, 15 minutes earlier*

Ringo and Easy were walking down the sidewalk, their hands interwined, Tobias right next to them. Since the situation between the two brothers had finally relaxed, the three were spending time together more often. Today they had been to the cinema and now they were on their way back home. They were chatting about trival stuff, when they reached a crossroad and had to wait for the traffic light to turn green.

"Hey Ringo your right shoe is untied." , Easy said with a look to his boyfriend. Quickly Ringo bent down to tie his shoelace. Meanwhile the light finally turned green. Easy and Tobias already started to cross the road while Ringo hurried to tie his shoe and followed shortly after. 

Suddenly everything happened at once. A car raced towards the crossroad. The driver seemed to try to slow down, but it was too late. While Tobias, who walked a step behind Easy managed to leap aside at the last minute, the right wing of the car hit Easy with a slam and Ringo could only watch how his boyfriend got flung on the street. 

Seconds went by, the car finally stoped, the door of the car opened, the driver got out of the car and tried to explain something. But for Ringo everything seemed to happen in slow motion. He rushed to his boyfriend, who lied on the street, motionless. "Easy! Easy! Ringo softly took Easys head in his hands, hoping for any reaction. Suddenly Easy opened his eyes. "Ringo." Easys voice was weak and only a whisper. He fumbled for his boyfriends hand. Ringo took of his jacket and carefully rested Easys head on it.

"Easy. Everything will be okay. I am here." , Ringo muttered again and again, he was shaking and the fear for his boyfriend was written all over his face, but he tried to be strong for Easy. Meanwhile Tobias had called an ambulance. "Easy, everything will be fine, the ambulance will be here any minute." , Ringo said. Suddenly Easys head fell to the side, his eyes shut. "Hey, Easy! You have to stay awake!" , Ringo shouted but by then Easy had already fallen unconscious. "Easy! No! Come on! Easy!" , Ringo screamed, desperately trying to get his boyfriend to wake up again.

Finally the ambulance arrieved and shortly after also the police showed up and started to question the driver. The paramedics immediately began with their work. "What happened?" , one of them asked. "A car... it hit him... he is uncouncious... please you have to do something..." , Ringo stuttered uncontrollably. He still clinged to Easys hand. Tobias took over, explaining the situation. 

The paramedics tried to send Ringo away from the accident site, so he didn't stand in their way, but he didn't move away one bit from his boyfriend, he was totally paralized by the shock. He didn't even really notice the voices of the paramedics, saying something like "You can't do anything." and "Please let us do our work." And suddenly there were Tobias arms pulling him away. Tobias tried to reach his shocked brother somehow. "Ringo! Ringo! You have to get out of here!"

*Flashback End*

Meanwhile Tobias had slowly lowered himself and his more or less sobbing brother on the roadside. He held Ringo tight, tried to comfort him, even when he was pretty shocked himself. But the paramedics were right, he couldn't do much for Easy right now but at least he could be there for his half brother, who just broke down in a way he has never seen him before. He pulled him in his arms, tried to asure him that everything will be fine and that Easy was in the best hands. While Ringo repeated, that he couldn't loose Easy over and over again.

They watched how Easy got carried in the ambulance on a stretcher. Before the ambulance took off, one of the paramedics talked to Tobias and Ringo again: "So everything is allright with you two so far? We'll take Mr. Winter to the hospital now." "How is he? Is he in a critical condition? Can I come with him?" Ringo asked frantically. "Whoa, slow down. Mr. Winter is stable so far, but for his own safety we intubated him and we'll take him to the hospital for further examination." Ringo only nodded. "Are you related to Mr. Winter?" Tobias takes over: "I am his roommate and he is his partner." "Unfortunately you can't come directly with us, but of course you can follow with an other car." , the paramedic explained. After Tobias had assured him again that besides Easy nobody got hurt, the ambulance finally took off. 

Ringo would have liked to immediately take the next Taxi to the hospital, but Tobias and him still had to talk to the police. Tobias explained to the police that his brother wasn't quite fit to be questioned right now and when the two policemen saw Ringo, who was still sitting on the roadside, shaking and obviously shocked, they agreed with Tobias. So they only took down their personal data and advised them to come to the police station soon to testify, before they left, taking the driver who was responsible for the accident with them.

Meanwhile Tobias had also called Elli, who immediately had borrowed Irenes car to pick up Tobias and Ringo, because Ringo definitely shouldn't drive in his condition and Tobias also thought that it would be better not to drive himself, he didn't want to risk a second accident today. 

Shortly after they were on their way to the hospital. Elli asked what happened, if the two were hurt and what the paramedics said about Easy. But Ringo still felt like he was somewhere far away, the only thought he could concentrate on was Easy and the fear of loosing him.

In the hospital Elli and Tobias organized everything. They talked to the nurse at the reception and asked for Easy. They got told, that Easy still got examined and that they should take a seat in the waiting area. 

To Ringo it felt like it must have been hours, he was already sitting on that plastic chair in the waiting room of the ER. He hated hospitals, all the rush, the tention, the noises. All he wanted was to see Easy. A hundred thoughts occured to him and over and over he had to think of Easys smile, all the beautiful moments they had together and also all the bad moments, when he had once already thought, that he had lost the love of his life. But this time it was different, this time Easy was in the hospital and there was nothing Ringo could do. 

All this thoughts made him crazy and he didn't even notice how quietly tears began to stream down his face again. He couldn't loose Easy. Not the only person he felt so save and at home with, like he never had before. His brain basically tortured him by making him think of all kinds of horror scenarios. He felt so helpless. He couldn't bare the thought of not being with Easy, the pain when he only thought of that option was too much for him to take. He felt so lost, when all these thoughts were crushing down on him. And there was still the fear for Easy and the panic that got worse every minute of waiting.

What if he would never see Easy again? If he could never hold his hand again, never lie in his arms again? His heart started to beat faster, he broke into cold sweat, his hands started shaking even more. Suddenly he felt dizzy. He looked around, where were Tobias and Elli? They had said something but he couldn't remember their words. He was too overwhelmed by his thoughts to notice anything that was going on around him. He felt paralized, like he couldn't move anymore. His breathing became faster, he felt like he couldn't breathe anymore. The fear for Easy literaly took his breath away. 

When Elli, who was on her way back from the bathroom, saw her roommate - who was crouched on his chair almost hyperventilating - she rushed to his side. "Hey, Richard, look at me." , she said softly. Ringo only looked at her with frantic eyes. "Richard, just breathe. Everything will be fine." She took his hand, tried to comfort him. "Elli, I can't live without Easy. I just can't." , Ringo says desperately. "Easy will get through this okay? And you too. I am here, you are not alone... Just try to breathe, in... and out..." Ringo tried to focus on Ellies voice, who was still telling him to breath in and out and gave him a rhythm to follow. He clinged to her hand, because he felt like it was his only connection to reality. 

And slowly his breathing became calmer and his heart rate slowed down again. In that Moment Tobias came back with three cups of coffee in his hands. He saw Elli and Ringo, who obviously wasn't feeling well. "What happened? Should I get someone?" he asked worried. "Panic attack." Elli answered and Tobias nodded understandingly. 

Ringo had calmed down by now and only looked at Elli and Tobias, feeling a bit ashamed. He was a little embarrassed for loosing control like this in front of others. "Are you feeling better?" , Elli asked. Ringo nodded. "Thank you." , he said quietly. "Always." , Elli responded with a wink. 

Finally a nurse entered the waiting room, the three look at her hopeful. "Mr. Beckmann?" the nurse loudly asked.


	2. Fear

Finally a nurse entered the waiting room, the three look at her hopeful. "Mr. Beckmann?" the nurse loudly asked. 

Ringo leaped to his feet. "That's me! How is Easy... I mean Mr. Winter?" , he immediately asked. "I am not allowed to give you information about his condition, since you are not related. But Mr. Winter wants to see you, then you can ask him yourself." , the nurse answered with a smile. When Ringo realized what the nurse just said, he felt a wave of relief wash over him. "So that means he is awake? I can talk to him?" he asked excited. "Of course. He is in ward 3, room 307," "Thank you." , Ringo said quickly and headed to the elevator. Tobias and Elli followed him.

Ringo couldn't wait to get to his boyfriend. He had to see him, to feel him. He had to make sure he really hadn't lost him. Without knocking he slamed the door of open and rushed into the room. Luckily Easy was alone in the room, sitting upright in the hospital bed. First he startled when he suddenly heard the door slaming, but when he saw his boyfriend his eyes lit up and he smiled. 

Easy!" , Ringo sighed in relief. Immediately he rushed to his side and pulled him in a crushing hug. "Ouch... slow down." Easy groaned. "Oh Sorry, I didn't want to hurt you." , Ringo said insecurely and let go of him. "It's okay." , Easy said and pulls his boyfriend closer again, but this time a lot more careful. "I was so worried about you." , Ringo admitted. "When you lied there on the street.... and then fell unconscious.... I thought I'd freak out. The thought of being without you..." Tears welled up in Ringos eyes again. 

"Hey." , Easy said softly and took Ringos head in his hands. "Don't cry." , he wiped a tear of Ringos face, caressing his cheek. "I am here, everything is okay." he tried to calm down his boyfriend. "I was so scared about you." , Ringo said with a broken voice. "Come here." Easy pulled his boyfriend in an other hug, stroked his back soothingly. The two seemed to not plan to let go of each other anytime soon, but Tobias and Elli - who were still standing in the door frame, feeling slightly out of place - cleared their throats. 

"Guys, I don't want to interrupt you, but I'd really like to know how my best friend is feeling?" , Tobias said. The pair let go of each other. Ringo sat on the edge of the bed and interwined his hand with Easys. "Yeah, how are you? What did the doctor say?" Ringo now also asked. "So far everything is okay, just a few bruises and a mild concussion, what was probably the reason for my unconsciousness. The doctor said I was very lucky the car didn't hit me head-on." , Easy answered. Elli, Tobias and Ringo were relieved. "And how long will you have to stay here?" , Ringo asked. "The doctor said, when nothing conspicuous will happen tonight and my values will be normal, I can already get out of here tommorrow." , Easy smiled, he was already looking forward to being home in his own bed again, preferably together with Ringo. 

"Do you need anything for tonight?" Clothes? Should I go and get a few things for you?" , Elli asked. "Well, a few fresh clothes would be really nice." , Easy responded. "Okay. I'll be right on my way." , Elli said. "Tobias, will you come with me?" , she asked and gave Tobias a suggestive look. "Hmm... Yeah, I'll come with you. I am glad you are okay." Tobias said and huged Easy. "We'll see each other tomorrow, I guess." , he said, before he left the room with Elli, so the couple could have some alone time until Elli comes back with Easys stuff. 

After Tobias and Elli left, Ringo snuggled even closer to Easy. No matter how close he'll be to him, today it would never be enough. Easy tenderly strokes his boyfriends hair. "You look totally strung out, almost worse than me and I got hit by a car." , Easy said half jokingly, half worried, when he noticed Ringos paleness and the dark circles under his puffy eyes. "I totally paniced." , Ringo admitted. "Easy I... I never want to loose you." , he said visibly emotional. "You won't. I am here and I'll stay with you. You won't get rid of me so fast." , Easy smiled and kissed his boyfriends forehead. "I love you." , Ringo said and looked at Easy, all his fear, his relief and his love reflected in his eyes and Easy couldn't think of anything else than drawing his boyfriend closer. "I love you, too." , he responded and carefully placed his lips on Ringos. 

Ringo kissed Easy back with all he had, putting every emotion in this one kiss. When they let go of each other after a while they were both breathing heavily. "I'll never let go of you again." , Ringo said and wraped his arms around Easy. "Is that so? Then come here you cuddler." , Easy laughed. He moved over a bit, and lifted the covers, so Ringo could crawl into bed with him. Carefully to not hurt his boyfriend, Ringo rested his head on Easys chest and put an arm around him. "Is this okay?" , he asked. "Perfect." , Easy smiled and snuggled closer to his boyfriend. Ringo sighed in relief, slowly all the tention disappeared, he felt like he finally could breath again. Easy also noticed, that his boyfriend was relaxing a bit and was relieved. After that shock both enjoyed being in each others arms, more than ever.

When Elli came back with a bag for Easy, she had to smile, when she saw the two cuddled up like that. "Hey. I have your clothes." , she broke the silence in the room. "Thank you." , Easy said. Elli placed the bag next to Easys bed and gave him a fresh Shirt. Ringo unwillingly let go of Easy, so he could change. 

Shortly after, a nurse entered the room. "I have to ask you to leave. Mr. Winter needs rest and it's late, visiting time is long over. If everything will go as planned, you already can go home again tomorrow." , she said kindly. "Okay, we will be gone in a minute." , Elli answered. Ringo didn't look very pleased, though. "But I want to stay with you." , he said quietly. "I'd like you to stay, too. But I guess we'll get in trouble then." , Easy said. "Besides I'll be out of here very soon." , he tried to sooth his boyfriend. Ringo sighed and reluctantly said goodbye to his boyfriend. "I love you. See you tomorrow." , he said and kissed Easy, pulled him in an other long embrace. Elli also said goodbye to Easy and eventually pulled Ringo, with the words: "Come on, you'll see him again tomorrow." , out of the room. 

Easy smiled, when he glanced after them. He found it very cute how Ringo only unwillingly left him alone. For Ringo this night must have been a real shock, while it didn't even occur that bad to Easy. But he didn't have to watch his boyfriend getting hit by a car and falling unconscious, though. He sighed and lied down, he missed Ringo already. But he'll see him tomorrow again and at least the painkillers he got, were making him pretty tired after all. Ringo on his mind, he fell asleep. 

Meanwhile Ringo is on his way home with Elli. Elli repeatedly glanced at him with a small smile. "What?" , Ringo asked eventually. "Oh Nothing. I just find it nice how you've changed. I have to admit that I am a little proud of you." , she said. "Hmm" Ringo didn't really know what to say to this.

Later Ringo was lying in his bed, he couldn't sleep and he hated to sleep without Easy. The pictures of the accident came to his mind again and again. Easy, how he got flung on the street. Easy, when he fell uncounscious and he could only helplessly watch. He opened his eyes again and looked at his phone, 12:34 am. Sighing he got up and quickly put on a shirt and sweatpants and sneaked over to the other flatshare. If he couldn't sleep with Easy, he could at least sleep in his bed, at least this way he'll feel a little bit closer to him.

When he entered the apartment, he surprisingly saw that the lights were still on and noticed Tobias, who was sitting on the couch with a beer in his hands. "You can't sleep either, can you?" , Tobias asked with a sigh. Ringo shook his head. "Come on, sit down." , he said. "Do you want a beer?" Ringo shook his head again but sat down on the couch. Both were sitting next to each other in silence for a while. "If you... you know... want to talk about it..." , Tobias offered. Ringo looked at him, thinking about if he'd want to talk, if he could even put his feelings in words. "God, Tobias I was so fucking scared about him." he finally came out with it. "That was impossible to overlook." , Tobias answered. "But luckly everything has gone well. Easy is okay, he'll be completely fine soon." , he tried to reassure his brother. "Hmm" Again silence between the brothers. Talking openly with each other was still not their strong suit. "Tobias?" , Ringo asked quietly after a while. "Thank you." "No problem, brother." Tobias answered with a smile. 

He notied that Ringo is probably too exhausted to talk much. "Maybe you should try to sleep now, you look pretty exhausted." he recommended. "Yeah I really am." , Ringo admitted and got up. Insecurely he looked at the door and then in direction of Easys room. He didn't want to admit in front of his brother, that he'd rather sleep in Easys bed, especially when and because Easy is not around. Richard Beckmann had still an image to loose, even though that image had began to crumble down the past month.

"Oh come on. Go in his room already. That's why you came here in the first place, didn't you?" , Tobias grined. Ringo looked at him surprised, blushing a little, but then without an other word he went to Easys room. He was too tired, to ask his brother how the hell he did know that. He fell on Easys bed, took in the familiar scent of Easy and finally could fall asleep.


	3. Taking care

Although Ringo hadn't got much sleep last night, since he was woken by nightmares a few times, he couldn't wait to get back to his boyfriend. So after a shower and a quick breakfast he was already on his way to the hospital again.

When he entered Easys room, he saw his boyfriend sitting in his bed reading one of his photography magazines. "Hey." , Easy said when he noticed Ringo. "Good morning." , Ringo responded and kissed Easy. "How are you feeling? Are you still in pain?" , he asked. "It's okay. The doctor should be here any minute for a last check up, but it looks like you can take me home today." , Easy answered. "Great!" , Ringo smiled and reached for his boyfriends hand. "And how are you feeling?" , Easy asked, he knew that Ringo also had to go through a tough time last night. "Well, it's okay. I missed you." , Ringo muttered. "Aww. I missed you too." , Easy said and pulled his boyfriend into a tender kiss.

Shortly after the door opened and a doctor entered the room. "Mr. Winter, sorry to disturb you but I'll have to run some last tests." he said. "But I think you can leave the hospital today, just as planned" , he added, when he looked at Easys values. After a few further examinations the doctor said: "That's looking pretty good. I think you can leave just now. You can get your discharge papers at the reception. I wish you well." He shook Easys and then Ringos hand and left the room. Both were relieved and really happy and Ringo immediately started to pack Easys stuff. 

Eventually they left the hospital, hand in hand. "I am so glad you are with me again." , Ringo said and gave Easy a peck on the cheek. "I am glad, too." , Easy responded and smiled at his boyfriend.

When they arrived home, Ringo immediately and overly cautious put his boyfriend to bed. "Ringo, I am fine. I have meds against the pain and I can't do more. I don't have to lie in bed all day." "Forget it. You will lie down now and if you need something you tell me and I'll take care of it. You have to rest." , Ringo said determinedly. "Oh Ringo." , Easy sighed with a smile and gave up his protest. So he got into bed and Ringo glanced him a pleased look. "Do you need anything? Should I get you anything? Are you hungry? Thirsty? Should I cook something?" , Ringo rattled off. "Hey Ringo, breathe. Everything is fine. Come here, I missed you." , Easy tried to calm down his worried boyfriend. Ringo smiled shyly and crawled under the covers, after Easy assured him once more that he didn't need anything but his boyfriend right now.

"You are cute when you are worrying." , Easy said and caressed Ringos cheek. "My boyfriend got hit by a car! Of course I am worrying!" , Ringo said enraged. "But you don't have to anymore. I am here, everything is fine." , Easy said. "Hmm" , Ringo murmured and snuggled closer to Easy. "How about we try to sleep a bit. You look tired." , Easy suggested, the deep circles under Ringos eyes haven't escaped his notice. "I didn't get much sleep last night. I hate sleeping without you and I just couldn't get the accident out of my head." , Ringo admited.

"I am here now, try to sleep my love. I'll take a nap too." , Easy said tenderly. Ringo smiled, when he heard these words. Easy had never called him "my love" before, but he likes it. It feels special, like he was something very special to Easy. He sighed happily and snuggled into Easys arm, enjoyed the feeling of safeness, he always felt when he was with Easy. And shortly after both had already fallen asleep. 

Unfortunately the moment of peace didn't last long. After a while Ringo started to toss and turn in his sleep. Easy woke up and worriedly looked at his boyfriend, who obviously seemed to have a nightmare. He tried to carefully wake him up. Suddenly Ringo screamed "No!" and sat up straight in bed. He breathed heavily, sweat on his forehead, he still had to realize, that it was only a dream.

"Hey, you had a nightmare." , Easy said, carefully putting his hand on Ringos shoulder. "Oh God." Exhausted Ringo let himself fall back on the bed, he reached for Easys hand. "That bad?" , Easy asked. "Worse..." , Ringo sighed. "You were... you didn't make it..." Ringo whispered huskily, thinking back to the scenes of the dream, sent cold shivers down his spine. 

"Come here." , Easy said and embraced his still shaken boyfriend. "It was only adream, okay? I am here." , he said. Ringo sighed again: "I am so glad, that you are here... yesterday... I couldn't even bear the thought of loosing you too." "Shhh.." Easy tried to calm down his boyfriend, softly stroking over his back. Slowly Ringo felt the tention disappear, what a terrible dream. Carefully he placed a kiss on Easys lips. "I love you." , he whispered, before their lips met again. 

They mainly spent the day cuddled up in bed. Easy noticed, that Ringo needed this even more than him. Otherwise Ringo took extra good care of Easy. He reminded him to take all his meds, got him everything he wanted, strictly made sure that Easy stayed in bed - of course in his arms - and apart from that didn't leave his boyfriends side for one minute. 

And when Tobias came home in his lunch break, to see how his best friend was doing he had to smile, when he saw the couple. He had to admit, he never could have imagined his brother like this. Cuddled up in bed with Easy, looking like he will never let go of his boyfriend ever again. "Who would have thought, that Richard Beckmann enjoyed cuddling so much." , he thought slightly amused. But maybe that was understandable after everything that happened yesterday. 

Easy who was facing the door, saw Tobias look and also smiled. He was a little bit proud, that out of all people he was the one who could reveal that soft side of Ringo.

"Well, how are you two doing? How are you Easy?" , Tobias asked eventually. "Pretty okay. I am glad I am home." , Easy answered. "Only Ringo is very strict about taking care of me, I am not allowed to move more than two meters from the bed." , he smirked. "Hey! I heard that!" , Ringo said acting offended. "But you are allowed to go to the bathroom alone, right?" , Tobias joked. "Very funny. The doctor said you need rest. And I am just making sure that you are resting properly." , Ringo defended himself and blushed slightly. "Yes, Dr. Beckmann." , Easy laughed.

"You are doing great, Baby." , he added and kissed his boyfriend. Actually he found it quite cute how Ringo was taking care of him. "I see. I am not needed here." , Tobias laughed. "I have to go back to the office anyway. See you later." , he said and left. "He is exceptionally right about this." , Ringo grined and kisses Easy again.

It would probably take a while, until he wouldn't worry so much about his boyfriend anymore and until he would finally realize that everything really was fine. But these thoughts are secondary, as long as he could be with Easy. Because, when he looked into Easys amber eyes, the only thing he could think of was how much he loved this man and that he would never let him go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this was the last chapter. I hope you liked the story :)


End file.
